Gay and Bi Male Victims of Domestic Violence

Help and support

Domestic violence happens in same-sex relationships too. Approximately 8-10% of men who call the Men’s Advice Line identify as gay or bisexual.

Talk it over – call the Men’s Advice Line

Talk to our trained advisors on our confidential helpline. We will listen to you, give you practical advice and information about accessing specialist help. Call us on freephone 0808 801 0327 (free from landlines and most mobiles) Monday – Friday 9am-5pm or email [email protected]

How to increase your safety and reduce the risk

There are some things you can do to help you reduce the risk from your abusive partner (or ex-partner). It is important to prepare in advance for times when you may be in danger or are being physically or verbally abused:

1. Keep a record of dates and times of all incidents. If you have been injured, get medical attention from Accident and Emergency (A & E) or your GP and they will make notes of your injuries.

2. Keep your phone fully charged and on you at all times and your credit topped up – in case you need to make emergency calls.

3. Tell a friend or family member about what’s been happening.

4. Keep your passport and copies of important documents in a safe place (with a friend or relative).

5. Think about telling your employer about your situation.

6. Always report the violence or criminal damage to the Police.

Do not retaliate – it’s not safe

Always try to avoid retaliating as it may escalate things and you might get seriously hurt. Think about how you can leave the situation when you recognise that the abuser may become violent to you.

If you retaliate and the police are called it may be that they see you as the abuser and you could be arrested and charged, particularly if your partner has any injuries caused by your retaliation.

Report domestic violence incidents to the Police

Male victims of domestic violence often tell us that they are reluctant to involve the Police; either because they don’t want the abuser getting in trouble or because the Police will not believe them or take action. The Police should take your allegations seriously do the following:

1. Get a statement from you and any witnesses and thoroughly investigate what has happened.

2. Take steps to stop the violence, which may mean removing the abuser from the property.

3. Collect evidence, for example take photographs of any damage to property and injuries to you (or your children).

4. Ensure that you (and your children) are safe, arrest the abuser and escort them from the property or take you (and your children) to a safe place.

5. Speak to you and your abusive partner separately.

6. Keep you informed of the progress of the case.

If you are frightened or in danger call 999.

Further help and support

Find out about non-LGBT specific services and organisations that can help in the Useful links for male victims of domestic violence section.

Services for gay and bi men

National helplines

National LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline

Run by Galop

National helpline- support for LBGT people experiencing domestic violence. Tel: 0800 999 5428

Emotional and practical support for LGBT people experiencing domestic abuse. Abuse isn’t always physical- it can be psychological, emotional, financial and sexual too. Speak out, don’t suffer in silence.

Opening Times:

10am – 5pm Monday
10am – 5pm Tuesday
10am – 5pm Wednesday
10am – 8pm Thursday
1pm – 5pm Friday
12pm – 4pm Sunday

1pm – 5pm Tuesday is trans specific service.

Online chat:

3pm- 7pm Saturday
3pm- 7pm Sunday

http://www.galop.org.uk/domesticabuse/

______________________________________________________________

Survivors UK a national organisation providing information, support and counselling for men who have been raped or sexually abused.  0845 122 1201

http://www.survivorsuk.org/

Services in the Greater London area

Stonewall Housing

Housing advice, advocacy, supported housing for LBGT people in London. Helpline: 020 7359 5767

http://www.stonewallhousing.org/home.html

 

Bede House – SAFE Project

Online and text message-based support for members of the LGBT community experiencing domestic violence or hate crime in Southwark.

http://www.bedehouse.org/bede%20starfish%20project.html

The Havens

The Havens are specialist centres in London for people who have been raped or sexually assaulted. Anyone in London who has been raped or sexually assaulted can come to the Haven.

http://www.thehavens.co.uk

Website disclaimer

The information contained in this website is for general information purposes only. The information is provided by Respect and while we take every reasonable effort to keep the information up to date and correct, we make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the website or the information, products, services, or related graphics contained on the website for any purpose. Any reliance you place on such information is therefore strictly at your own risk.

In no event will we be liable for any loss or damage including without limitation, indirect or consequential loss or damage, or any loss or damage whatsoever arising from loss of data or profits arising out of, or in connection with, the use of this website.

Through this website you are able to link to other websites which are not under the control of Respect. We have no control over the nature, content and availability of those sites. The inclusion of any links does not necessarily imply a recommendation or endorse the views expressed within them. Every effort is made to keep the website up and running smoothly. However, Respect takes no responsibility for, and will not be liable for, the website being temporarily unavailable due to technical issues beyond our control.